DEVELOPING PEOPLE SKILLS

                                                                                                By Chioma Faith

I have been thinking through the line; it’s close to mid-year, and the year 2018 is running just too fast. We have goals, some attained and some yet to be attained. During my self-introspection, I pondered on something very important. As is usual with most persons, few months to the year 2018, they wrote down goals, visions and resolutions for the New Year. Some of these goals included strategic improvements in their relationships, finances, spirituality etc. For all these identified areas of improvement, wise men knew they needed to learn more skills.

As an effort towards financial improvement for instance, we consciously acquire skills like baking, software design, fashion design, writing, public speaking and lots more, and almost everyone is so apt about learning these skills. However, no one gets to talk about the most important skill, and that developing people skills.

The most difficult skill is people management, and until you learn how to deal with them, you will not go farther in life. Life is all about transactions with people and that's why we should learn how to deal with them.

Few years ago, I enrolled in a computer mastery class. Prior to that, I had my instruction manual, which was a guide into the system I was to operate and I religiously played by the rules. The same goes for human skills. No skill without proper adherence to rules and regulations. We have rules (skills) for people management too. Let's explore:

1. Empathize with others
As long as the earth exists, skills will come and go, some become outdated, but what remains is people skill. Just like Dorcas in the bible, learn to show concern for people, not because they are blood relations, but because they are human like you.

2. Be Selfless

The golden rule states that you should do unto others what you expect them do unto you. What is your expectation? The golden rule doesn't really mean that you treat people exactly as you'd want them  to treat you, it means you should try to imagine how they want to be treated, and treat them that way. Whether you are writer, Doctor or anything, you would do better when you become a graduate of people skills.

3. Be friendly 
Everyone feels the need to be wanted and given attention to. Choose to be friendly, be humble and give everyone the opportunity to shine. Be the reason why some persons still believe great people also eat sandwich with Cinderella.

4. listen to people
When I studied the ‘360 degree leadership’, I brought out an idea from the author. Don't talk all the talk, learn to get others involved, especially your protégés. You have been celebrated enough, it’s about time you gave others the opportunity to express themselves too.  Get others to speak, you could learn from others too.

5. Don't criticize
Yes everyone has great tendency to criticize others, howbeit if you ask yourself if you would like to be criticized in much the same way, the answer is almost always" No". So keep back your criticisms (especially when it is not constructive and done in love), and instead learn to interact with others in a positive way.

6. Don't control others
It’s very difficult to catch this one, especially if we are conditioned to control others. You would want freedom, autonomy and trust, so give others that privilege. Let people be, everyone must not be like you, speak like you or study the same course, and that's why most relationships fail. Let people do what's good for them, don't make them subservient just because you are in control. Don't control people. You can guide people, but don't control them. If they really want to change, they will.

7.  Don't be even.
We have chances to strike back when treated badly right? This is natural. Resist that urge. This doesn’t mean you allow others trample on you, you have to assert your rights. But you can do so in a way where you still treat others with respect. Revenge is a fool’s weakness.

Chioma Faith

chiomafaith47@gmail.com