What patriarchy isn't: my message to all women
The massive global eruption of the feminist movement is perfectly
understandable; society is originally and by default conservative and
patriarchal, hence, the imperative for counter-narratives in a world which can
now best be described as progressive. Some have argued that feminism would
remain more idealistic than realistic until 'progressive' men actively join the
campaign. However, this begs the question, "are the vast majority of
powerful men simply resisting contemporary realities or are women not just willing
to embrace contemporary realities?" The latter would most likely be the case.
Look around you, men dominate the world in politics,
education, business and economy, technology, sports etc. So it's factually logical
to conclude that it is a man's world. However, fact and logic may disappoint you if
you try to show that these things continue to be the case because Men continue
to dominate by suppression of women.
Though the big money bosses are still men, the only area
where it seems women have a nearly commensurate level of influence and
attention is in the entertainment industry. But then, a good number of them
rose to the hall of fame not necessarily because of society's appreciation of their
ingenuity, but because they were paid well enough to either show or shake bums,
much to the excitement and consequential patronage of the 'same men'. Mia
Khalifa for instance may have left the porn industry but years after, she is
still a celebrity for her pornographic exploits. Amazingly, she has plenty female
fans who are probably aspiring to be as famous in much the same way.
I've countlessly seen both upcoming and popular male musicians
sexually objectify women by using their sexiness as bait for massive patronage.
I have also seen female celebrities like Nikki Minaj and Beyonce use seemingly
nude men in their music videos, but then, it's in a reverse perspective. When
the men use nude women (often in their hundreds) for their music videos, all
they portray is ' I'm rich enough to have all the ladies and have all the sex
and when I want it'. For masculine fans, watching hundreds of women display
and shake bums is at least psychologically satisfactory. However, when famous female
artists use nude men in their music videos, men are not portrayed as objects
of sexual satisfaction, instead they are portrayed as pillars of strength and succor.
This explains why they often use very macho black men and you often see them
lean on him or being lifted by him, further demonstrating their subservience or
dependence on men even with all their money, influence and fame. Obviously, it's
a mindset thing, even when they are richer, men just have to be portrayed as
stronger.
The fight against female genital mutilation in most parts of
Sub- Saharan Africa is protracted, not so much because men insist on that
practice, but because mothers (who were of course mutilated by their mums) insist
on having daughters who are not given to promiscuity. History cannot deny the
fact that women are agents of transformation, but that's when they decide to.
It then suffices to say that a patriarchal society is not
necessarily a society where men derive pleasure in systematic subjugation of
women, rather it is a society where majority of women are more comfortable being
on the background than on stage.
While female athletes generally have terrible global
attention and funding, the game of tennis stands out as the only sport where
women enjoy as much attention and influence as men. Do you know why? It's
because the women in Tennis are bent on proving themselves as good, if not
better than their male counterparts. They refuse every chivalric consideration
and concession and they do it as hard and as professionally as men do it. I'll always
remember Serena Williams as much as I remember Roger Federer.
The average lady has no interest in politics, doesn't dream
of becoming the richest person in the world or topping 'Forbes list' list in
mixed categories. At best, they want to become celebrities in the fashion or
entertainment industry which in many cases requires their body and not their intellectual
ingenuity. What is largely absent though is the 'revolutionary mindset' needed to
overcome the crass complacence that comes with just being rich or successful
enough.
Eleanor Roosevelt, Oprah Winfrey, Chimamanda Adichie, Marie
Curie, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala etc. Are examples of women who either bypassed
racial or social stereotypes or both to impact the world and are idols even to
men. They weren't just comfortable with just looking attractive to their hubby,
they knew they have what it takes to attract the world and they must not be President
to achieve that. Men need women as much, not in bed but even in politics.
Both men and women are critical thinkers, but women have an
edge which is that they are naturally more intuitive. Intuition would succeed
where intelligence fails. Women relevance can never be achieved by affirmative
action ( debaters know just have flawed it is), it can only be achieved when
women decide to be societally woke, not just woke, but impactful.
I'm not a feminist, I just understand that we all need each
other and that the world would be better if we had the nicest bit of women. It's
not a man's world, it's a world for the man and the woman!
Make up your mind to become the best woman you can be!
Comments
1. it wasn't an attack on women's sexuality, simply saying that a greater majority of women should look to influencing society outside their sexuality.
2. I never said porn stars are feminist and I don't think they can be. feminism has never been about sexuality and no crazy feminist would think acting more porn is a step towards achieving equality and equity for all sexes.
3. The mention of Mia Khalifa is simply to imply that women can be as popular in many other ways outside exploring their sexuality. It was never a selective moral policing that privileges male porn stars.
4. I don't think lowly of women in entertainment. First I concede they are influential there, but secondly, the truth which pains you, in many cases their sexuality is not unconnected to it. That explains why men like Harvey Weinstein thrived that long. It's arguable.
5. If you read well, the post completely Concedes and never downplays the existence of patriarchy but goes further to tie it's eradication to the cooperation of women.
6. And the fact that you don't concede to the mindset problem affecting majority of women (even though I concede some are unaffected) just shows how much you are unconnected with the daily feminine realities despite being one.
Finally, I'm glad you have great goals but the post is intended at getting more women to move beyond societies inflicted mental complacence and think and plan like you.
I do hope you now understand better. I really do appreciate your comments and that of everyone and would expect subsequent gestures from you all.🙌
A woman shouldn't have to conform to your Serena Williams or Chimamanda idols for the feminist movement to work. The entire essence of feminism frowns at that, the concept is simply, If a woman wants to be sexual like Trey Songs or Chris Brown, she should be allowed to, if she wants to be intellectual like Elon Musk or Wole Soyinka she should be allowed to as well. Without judgement as we do men. The underlying principle is choice.
The fact that your post limits the choices of what women should use to achieve the feminist goal of equal CHOICES for both men and women reinforces patriarchy that feminism rejects.