MENTAL MATURITY

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Let’s look at the most basic example, no matter how sensible or impactful your post may be on Facebook, there are people who will never read, like, comment or share it; not because it didn’t make sense, but because they don’t like you as a person. They don’t like you, so they can’t support you or concede that you have something to offer.

In counselling, I’ve heard a number of ladies complain about promiscuous lecturers thus, “He asked me out and I refused, and I because of that I failed his course.” While I concede that many of such ladies are actually being preyed upon, I disagree that the subsequent failure is always because they are being victimized for not agreeing to a sexual affair with the lecturer. This is what happens; most ladies are actually disappointed at such advances, and subsequently filled with indignation towards that particular lecturer for the attempted sexual exploitation. In that angst, they lose the psychological disposition needed to effectively listen to that lecturer’s lecture or study his course. When you lack interest in lectures or subsequent study of a particular course, you are automatically booked for failure-so it’s not always victimization.

Now I’m not trying to sound all-mature. While in junior secondary school, I was an expert at failing math, and all because I hated my math teacher. In my senior secondary, I became the school’s representative for math competitions-reason being that we had a much younger and friendlier math teacher. So I had to learn from experience-I got mature.



Many times, the most intelligent of persons’ have terrible character, many billionaires have repugnant personalities, most celebrities are annoying and many highly skilled persons are at least proud. However, you must ignore their personality traits to fully utilize their resourcefulness. For instance, being immoral (because of the Cambridge Analytica scandal) doesn’t make Zuckerberg less entrepreneurial or rich, being braggadocios doesn’t make Davido less talented, a curly hair doesn’t make Pastor Chris less anointed and feminism doesn’t remove Chimamanda’s sensibility.  You have a choice to hate them for that, however, that hate becomes harmful to you when it transcends beyond hatred of a person’s character to hatred of the person’s knowledge, service or resources.

Take note; you should become mentally mature enough to separate a person’s character from his competence. Your hatred of a person’s personality shouldn’t stop you from learning from them. Hate them all you want (even though hate does you no good), but make sure you place premium on whatever value they have to offer. Just so you know, a lot of people who benefit from you actually hate you, but they are wise.

Take the best and ignore the chaff-your recipe for self-improvement.


Facebook Page: Ezeme Kingsley C.
Email:kingynelsy@gmail.com
Instagram: ezemekingsley
Blog: kingsleyezeme.blogspot.com





Comments

Victor said…
Wow!!
Thrilling
29 August 2018 at 13:03
Unknown said…
Hmmm. This one makes you think. Nice one!
30 August 2018 at 08:19
Eddy said…
Always a virtue to add reading these up...
30 August 2018 at 17:23
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